(Highly disappointed).
I thought people would read and change, but now I believe that nothing is gonna happen, I was just deceiving myself by saying that I can bring some change. I should try to live simple like everyone else now, I should learn how to be dishonest. I should learn how to keep my eyes closed after seeing injustice with someone. I should learn how to be a slave of the society. I should learn how to be double faced. Maybe I should stop doing everything that I'm trying to do, it's been years since I started it. I see no outcome, I have troubled my life and existence for it, but nothing happened in exchange, I believe I have wasted myself for these delusions. Sometimes we should tell people that we are hopeless. People actually don't read, they don't care, if that's it then good luck guys cause I'm done, no one is gonna try to change or help you, people like me try and you people don't do anything in return, maybe you should wait for the results of your destruction, maybe you deserve it. Sit tight because trouble is gonna come to you. Some people always told me that these things and whatever I'm trying is not gonna work out, but I didn't believe them, I still tried for years by different means, I have destroyed a big and important portion of my life for it, I have given everything that I could give. I have lost my faith in things, I am totally tired and it's better I believe because it's better to live everyday with the same disappointment than to create false hopes to get disappointed again. I want no one to give me hope, I don't need it. I lived in delusions, I wasted myself, I really feel bad for it. Well words can't describe my emotions. I write less than I think, I say less than I write, I act less than I say. I don't know what's gonna happen but I believe that it's valid to be disappointed and hopeless sometimes, don't deceive yourself like I did, don't tell yourself that there's hope when there's none. Otherwise you're gonna repent like me, don't be like me. I can say much more but there's no benefit of it. I hope my spirits won't revive again, but yes indeed sometimes it really felt good to do these things, sometimes I felt like this is it. Anyhow guys no problem! Let's see what happens next! But yes I feel broken from inside, I thought something good is gonna happen, it feels bad to say that I was always wrong.
